People are usually surprised to hear that Tahiti is a 6.5 hour flight and 3 hours time difference from SFO. A short ferry ride away from Tahiti is an island called Moorea. Moorea doesn't have the same jaw dropping lagoon views that her more famous sibling Bora Bora does but it's still incredibly beautiful.

French Polynesia has always been alluring to me. It wasn't until United announced direct flights from SFO that I seriously started thinking about going. I had set aside thoughts of going until I was browsing Google Flights for a destination. I was looking for somewhere we could fly directly to, was oriented around being outdoors, and didn't cost a small fortune. The $640 roundtrip plane ticket caught my interest. A 6 day trip in late August quickly materialized thereafter. 

SFO to FAA Economy tickets on United Airlines
We booked 1 night in an Airbnb near the ferry port of Papee'te as
4 nights at Hilton Moorea (1 night in a Panoramic Overwater Bungalow, 3 nights in Garden Bungalow with Plunge Pool)

Car rental from Faa'a
Whale tour
Sunset boat cruise
2x ferry tickets plus car ferry ticket


French Polynesia went into a fairly restrictive tier the night before we left. So all our tours had to be cancelled.

I guess since people cancelled their trip, we were allowed to stay in the Panoramic Overwater Bungalow every night. 


Since we had a car, we were allowed to pick up take out and grab groceries. I ate enough tuna for a lifetime, usually in the form of Poisson Cru. For snacks, we had baguettes and ate with Cammembert and duck pate. 

Besides picking up food, there wasn't much we could do besides enjoy our resort. We snorkeled a bunch, got some exercise by doing open water swimming to the buoys, and did a little bit of a stand up paddle boarding. 

I'm usually the person that over plans their trip so it was nice to have a lot of time to relax. Our balcony out onto the lagoon was a great place to just sit and enjoy the consistent wind that is present in the Windward Islands. A huge bonus of the overwater bungalow is that there are no mosquitoes.

Ecologically, I did feel a bit of guilt because there was no way to build this resort without some damage to coral. I was happy to see that one of the concrete pillars had some health coral growing on it.

Moorea

Our farmer’s markets. It’s cheap, fresh, and the variety year round is amazing.

Biking across the Golden Gate Bridge and riding Hawk Hill in the mornings. I can squeeze rides that are both challenging and scenic before I start the work. It sure beats doing laps in Prospect Park.

We have the best recycling technology which means our recycling bundles are clean and well sorted which means they are actually get recycled.

Compost pickup! We end up throwing less trash away because we have residential compost pickup. It’s industrially composted and gets turned to fertilizer.

Progressive laws especially when it comes to the environment. There are plenty of laws that I can’t get behind but overall, we have some of the most progressive governance in the country.

Availability of raw ethnic ingredients. I can get 10 different kinds of za’atar spice at a local Persian grocery that’s a 10 minute walk from my house.

If you don’t feel like cooking, there's an abundance of good food at all price points.

Weather. The weather is seriously wonderful most of the year. Daytime temperatures usually hover around 60 degrees. Good weather makes it even more pleasant to walk and bike places.

I live 15 minutes away from a major international airport that with one connecting flight can take me to so many places. There are also stunning day trips within 2-4 hours driving distance. Having lived here for 8 years, I still feel like I haven’t scratched the surface.

Why I love San Francisco

This is how we announced to all our friends and family that we got married.

Subject: Two peas in a pod

Hi friends and family,
After being pals for ten years, Robbie and I got legally married today at San Francisco City Hall via Microsoft© Teams and DocuSign (NASDAQ: DOCU). If you’re feeling a twinge sorry for us, don’t. Even if it weren’t the pandemic, there wouldn’t be a wedding. We had long discussed a City Hall thing with only the two of us.

We look forward to celebrating the next time we get to hang out in person.

Dian and Robbie

P.S. No name changes; I’ve already got diandianxiao.com


How we announced we got married

This a mini review of Minor Feelings that I 

"Minor feelings occur when American optimism is enforced upon you, which contradicts your own radicalized reality, thereby creating a static of cognitive dissonance. You are told, 'Things are so much better,' while you think, Things are the same."

"I can tell you I have attracted all kinds of wild, vituperative behavior from white people I never play the role of compliant Asian woman."

These two quotes capture two struggles I have with my experience in the workplace and society. Your pessimism is unlikable and undesirable. People want you have the same happy optimism that your male coworker who has never been oppressed has.

Meanwhile, your fellow female coworker. She's been oppressed too, but she fights back with a tenacious aggression. She might be seen as mean but she works hard and gets shit done. She's a girl boss. You know you can't do the same thing since society sees your compliance as your defining trait. Without it, you are nothing.

While my life experiences are different from Cathy Park Hong. I feel similar feelings of anger and pain. To read this book is to feel my pain. If you don't like it, we probably can't be friends.

Minor Feelings

This weekend the French Open was won by Barbora Krejčíková. If you were a die-hard tennis fan, you might have known she was an accomplished doubles player. She had quietly risen the singles ranks, up to 33rd right before the tournament. Her shocking victory barely made a splash.

Perhaps, the women's final was always going to be overshadowed by the iconic battle between Djokovic and Nadal the day before. The French Open Twitter account tweeted out photos from the trophy photo shoot afterward. Novak Djokovic's tweet got 3x the engagement that Krejčíková's did.

In the previous weeks, I argued that the French Open ultimately wants players like Naomi Osaka there. As one of the most popular players, she is good for the business of tennis. They probably knew that the public was going to be on Osaka's side. Then why did the French Open threaten to default her for skipping press conferences? Was it because the tournament directors were racist? It's entirely possible. After all, they were the ones who caused the drama with Serena's catsuit. However, I do not think it is the most significant underlying factor.

While players have had one-off press conference skips, skipping many in a row was uncharted territory. This is one reason I think Naomi was brave in her choice to speak up in this way. As a big tennis fan, I've watched press conferences as well as read press transcripts for nearly 18 years. Almost all players are subjected to lazy, rude, and invasive questioning. However, women and especially women of color, are also subjected to sexist and racist questions. I can, especially how if someone was in a delicate mental state, these press conferences could be crushing.

While I support Naomi's decision, I also believe the tournament had no choice in determining that further boycotts could lead to a default. Players are more affluent and more influential than ever. The tournaments had to take a firm stance to maintain their power. If they continued to let players dictate the rules, their influence further becomes eroded.

You also cannot ignore the media dynamic. 

 mentions how media presence at major tennis tournaments is declining. Many of Tennis' biggest stars are at the twilight of their careers. To some degree, I think the tournaments worry there will be retaliation by the media if access to the hottest young star would be limited.

The least cynical reason perhaps is that if they allowed her to stay in the tournament by just paying the fines, the less wealthy players would be crying out that it wasn't fair. They may also hate attending pressers but not financially take the burden of not attending them.

This begets the question, why do we even have press conferences in the first place?

This is what I feel most conflicted about. Besides tennis, I also watch professional cycling. The biggest stars of cycling could be considered rich but cycling is considered poor compared other sports. Many riders cannot make a  living full-time living riding bikes. On the women's side, the situation is even direr. Most women riding professionally don't make enough money to make it their full-time occupation. 

Why is there such a big difference between men's and women's cycling. Nobody wakes up and says I'm only going to be interested in men's cycling. The biggest root reason is that there is very little media coverage of the women's races compared to men's races. 

Tennis used to have similar issues. Billie Jean King has spoken up about how they would beg for media coverage in her tennis days.

As much as I support Osaka's battle, I think it's important to remember that it's never so simple. As a tennis fan, I think the best outcome would be to improve press conferences. Make a zero-tolerance policy for bad reporters. Yank the credentials of reporters who ask sexist, racist questions, and then maybe they won't be so much of a chore. Perhaps, all the outrage on behalf of Naomi will lead to something good.

Naomi Osaka and the perilous popularity of fringe sports

It started with a request for mixed-race volunteers. A coworker had asked on an ERG slack channel if anyone of mixed race was willing to speak on a panel for parents of mixed-race children. I asked my friend, who is half Chinese, if she might want to participate. While she agreed, she felt that these children would not face the same struggles she faced as a mixed-race person in the 90s midwest.

"[I had to] talk for my mom as a kid when white people were being shitty about her accent."

It reminded me of my experiences growing up in a primarily white area. For most of my life, I attributed moving a lot as the main reason for not having many close friendships.

Recently, I realized that playdates are arranged because the parents are friends with one another. Often in a group of girls, the moms all hung out with one another. There was at least one girl clique that I felt like I could never be entirely accepted socially because my mom was not American enough.

I'm still friends with another girl who felt that she was similarly iced out because her mother worked. My immigrant mother stood no chance of fitting in with these parents.

I actually wasn't sure how social my mom really was until we went to China. She had gone back to the hospital she used to be a nurse and held a massive party for all her old friends. I think about how at that party, she was in an element I rarely saw her in.

It makes me emotional to think about her life in America. If I found it hard to fit in, she stood no chance.

A realization on fitting in

This area is expensive for a reason. Not everyone deserves to live just anywhere. If you add more people, you increase traffic and that sucks. My family and I are doing just fine, I don’t really see what the fuss is about for other people. They should just live somewhere else.

We shouldn’t build more housing because that’s playing to the capitalist mindset and being a shill to the construction and real estate industry. We should use government resources to build as much affordable housing as possible. But wait, the problem is the influx of...these tech people! Some of these tech bros are terrible. If we vocalize that we hate “techies”, maybe they will just leave and things will go back to what they were before they came. San Francisco has lost its soul.

Hmm. We don’t really like poor people in our neighborhood so affordable housing is out. Plus our neighborhood has such wonderful character, if you let a developer build a boxy multi-unit building, it’s going to ruin the character. If it’s in another neighborhood, maybe. But not tax increases, alright? I agree with you about these tech people. I’m not really a fan of these nouveau riche. They are so cultureless.

*Thinking to themselves* We don’t have many options if we do mixed rate housing. If we settle for anything less than half, then we will be seen as supporting gentrifiers. Without a tax increase, we can’t really do fully affordable housing. I can’t really compromise my integrity though.

SF is too bureaucratic as it is. Too many rules!

NIMBY chatroom

I wanted to write about something nagging at my heart. While I have seen a lot of support as news of violence against Asians has started to pick up. While I have been subject to overt racist behavior, I am crushed by the subtle Asian disdain that I encounter in my life. You meet people who consider themselves “definitely not racist” but easily make fun of Asians and Asian culture.

This is the person who will tell you that they ate McDonald’s every day on a business trip in Asia because they thought local food was disgusting.

This is the person who will imply that products made in the “East” are inferior.

They might also make general statements regarding Chinese tourists.

I, too, have cringed at a busload of Chinese tourists who are misbehaving. I also know that they are not representative of all Chinese tourists. With a country of over 1 billion people, there are bound to be bad actors.

I can be against exploitative labor practices but also know that there is precision manufacturing that is only done in Asia. I can be appreciative of buying local goods but also take pride in things made in Asia.

What bothers me is the carelessness in which these comments are made. I can’t imagine going up to a French person I just met and telling them I hate French food. But yet many people I meet feel very comfortable telling what they dislike about various parts of my culture. It's only made worse when they expect you to assent with their opinion.

Korean sunscreen brand was found to have less protective sunscreen than advertised

, members of the skincare community quickly disavowed all Asian beauty products. It mattered little that there were still many open questions on who was to blame.

At the same time, I think of the Volkswagen emissions scandal. VW purposefully tried to skirt environmental rules set by organizations like the EPA, which affected nearly 11 million cars worldwide. We don’t need to play a game of exculpating Asian businesses and indicting Western ones. I just find it laughable that we blindly trust Western companies or authorities more. We should honestly have a healthy mistrust of all companies in this capitalist world.

Ask yourself, would you make the same remarks if it was a western culture, company, person? 