This weekend the French Open was won by Barbora Krejčíková

. If you were a die-hard tennis fan, you might have known she was an accomplished doubles player. She had quietly risen the singles ranks, up to 33rd right before the tournament. Her shocking victory barely made a splash.

Perhaps, the women's final was always going to be overshadowed by the iconic battle between Djokovic and Nadal the day before. The French Open Twitter account tweeted out photos from the trophy photo shoot afterward. Novak Djokovic's tweet got 3x the engagement that Krejčíková's did.

In the previous weeks, I argued that the French Open ultimately wants players like Naomi Osaka there. As one of the most popular players, she is good for the business of tennis. They probably knew that the public was going to be on Osaka's side. Then why did the French Open threaten to default her for skipping press conferences? Was it because the tournament directors were racist? It's entirely possible. After all, they were the ones who caused the drama with Serena's catsuit. However, I do not think it is the most significant underlying factor.

While players have had one-off press conference skips, skipping many in a row was uncharted territory. This is one reason I think Naomi was brave in her choice to speak up in this way. As a big tennis fan, I've watched press conferences as well as read press transcripts for nearly 18 years. Almost all players are subjected to lazy, rude, and invasive questioning. However, women and especially women of color, are also subjected to sexist and racist questions. I can, especially how if someone was in a delicate mental state, these press conferences could be crushing.

While I support Naomi's decision, I also believe the tournament had no choice in determining that further boycotts could lead to a default. Players are more affluent and more influential than ever. The tournaments had to take a firm stance to maintain their power. If they continued to let players dictate the rules, their influence further becomes eroded.

You also cannot ignore the media dynamic. 

 mentions how media presence at major tennis tournaments is declining. Many of Tennis' biggest stars are at the twilight of their careers. To some degree, I think the tournaments worry there will be retaliation by the media if access to the hottest young star would be limited.

The least cynical reason perhaps is that if they allowed her to stay in the tournament by just paying the fines, the less wealthy players would be crying out that it wasn't fair. They may also hate attending pressers but not financially take the burden of not attending them.

This begets the question, why do we even have press conferences in the first place?

This is what I feel most conflicted about. Besides tennis, I also watch professional cycling. The biggest stars of cycling could be considered rich but cycling is considered poor compared other sports. Many riders cannot make a  living full-time living riding bikes. On the women's side, the situation is even direr. Most women riding professionally don't make enough money to make it their full-time occupation. 

Why is there such a big difference between men's and women's cycling. Nobody wakes up and says I'm only going to be interested in men's cycling. The biggest root reason is that there is very little media coverage of the women's races compared to men's races. 

Tennis used to have similar issues. Billie Jean King has spoken up about how they would beg for media coverage in her tennis days.

As much as I support Osaka's battle, I think it's important to remember that it's never so simple. As a tennis fan, I think the best outcome would be to improve press conferences. Make a zero-tolerance policy for bad reporters. Yank the credentials of reporters who ask sexist, racist questions, and then maybe they won't be so much of a chore. Perhaps, all the outrage on behalf of Naomi will lead to something good.

Naomi Osaka and the perilous popularity of fringe sports

This a mini review of Minor Feelings that I 

"Minor feelings occur when American optimism is enforced upon you, which contradicts your own radicalized reality, thereby creating a static of cognitive dissonance. You are told, 'Things are so much better,' while you think, Things are the same."

"I can tell you I have attracted all kinds of wild, vituperative behavior from white people I never play the role of compliant Asian woman."

These two quotes capture two struggles I have with my experience in the workplace and society. Your pessimism is unlikable and undesirable. People want you have the same happy optimism that your male coworker who has never been oppressed has.

Meanwhile, your fellow female coworker. She's been oppressed too, but she fights back with a tenacious aggression. She might be seen as mean but she works hard and gets shit done. She's a girl boss. You know you can't do the same thing since society sees your compliance as your defining trait. Without it, you are nothing.

While my life experiences are different from Cathy Park Hong. I feel similar feelings of anger and pain. To read this book is to feel my pain. If you don't like it, we probably can't be friends.

Minor Feelings

It started with a request for mixed race volunteers.

 It started with a request for mixed-race volunteers. A coworker had asked on an ERG slack channel if anyone of mixed race was willing to speak on a panel for parents of mixed-race children. I asked my friend, who is half Chinese, if she might want to participate. While she agreed, she felt that these children would not face the same struggles she faced as a mixed-race person in the 90s midwest.

"[I had to] talk for my mom as a kid when white people were being shitty about her accent."

It reminded me of my experiences growing up in a primarily white area. For most of my life, I attributed moving a lot as the main reason for not having many close friendships.

Recently, I realized that playdates are arranged because the parents are friends with one another. Often in a group of girls, the moms all hung out with one another. There was at least one girl clique that I felt like I could never be entirely accepted socially because my mom was not American enough.

I'm still friends with another girl who felt that she was similarly iced out because her mother worked. My immigrant mother stood no chance of fitting in with these parents.

I actually wasn't sure how social my mom really was until we went to China. She had gone back to the hospital she used to be a nurse and held a massive party for all her old friends. I think about how at that party, she was in an element I rarely saw her in.

It makes me emotional to think about her life in America. If I found it hard to fit in, she stood no chance.

A realization on fitting in

I wanted to write about something nagging at my heart.

 While I have seen a lot of support as news of violence against Asians has started to pick up. While I have been subject to overt racist behavior, I am crushed by the subtle Asian disdain that I encounter in my life. You meet people who consider themselves “definitely not racist” but easily make fun of Asians and Asian culture.

This is the person who will tell you that they ate McDonald’s every day on a business trip in Asia because they thought local food was disgusting.

This is the person who will imply that products made in the “East” are inferior.

They might also make general statements regarding Chinese tourists.

I, too, have cringed at a busload of Chinese tourists who are misbehaving. I also know that they are not representative of all Chinese tourists. With a country of over 1 billion people, there are bound to be bad actors.

I can be against exploitative labor practices but also know that there is precision manufacturing that is only done in Asia. I can be appreciative of buying local goods but also take pride in things made in Asia.

What bothers me is the carelessness in which these comments are made. I can’t imagine going up to a French person I just met and telling them I hate French food. But yet many people I meet feel very comfortable telling what they dislike about various parts of my culture. It's only made worse when they expect you to assent with their opinion.

Korean sunscreen brand was found to have less protective sunscreen than advertised

, members of the skincare community quickly disavowed all Asian beauty products. It mattered little that there were still many open questions on who was to blame.

At the same time, I think of the Volkswagen emissions scandal. VW purposefully tried to skirt environmental rules set by organizations like the EPA, which affected nearly 11 million cars worldwide. We don’t need to play a game of exculpating Asian businesses and indicting Western ones. I just find it laughable that we blindly trust Western companies or authorities more. We should honestly have a healthy mistrust of all companies in this capitalist world.

Ask yourself, would you make the same remarks if it was a western culture, company, person? 